Little Soldier

Last night I was thinking about all the children who have to go through so much (like sickness, cancer, etc.) and I wrote this for them.

This is long so I apologize

 

Little Soldier by Kristen Shafer

 

It’s hard to live,

Your whole life,

Wishing you were fine

 

It’s hard to smile,

To just be happy,

Running out of time

 

It’s hard to wake up,

Take up,

The same fight again

 

It’s hard to fake it,

Make it,

The disease can’t win

 

But you sit straight,

Your head held high,

Still you march along

 

You stare right back,

Unafraid,

Still you march along

 

Little Soldier,

You’re so fierce

How’d you get that way?

 

Little soldier,

Thinks all day,

About the plans they made

 

If it was me,

Life was reversed,

I wouldn’t be so strong

 

I would stumble,

Falter out,

I couldn’t soldier on

 

Seeing how you,

Live your life,

Every single day

 

It gives me hope,

Inspiration,

To turn around and say

 

You the person,

In my life,

Who banished all the “cant’s”

 

You’re the person,

You give me hope,

To offer another chance

 

I can’t do it,

Won’t be said,

It just doesn’t seem right

 

When every day you wake up,

Take up,

The same old terrible fight

 

Every minute of every day,

Each breath,

Every word you say

 

Is difficult to get out,

Let out,

Every single day

 

But it’s what you do,

You stay strong,

You everyone proud

 

You fight hard,

On teams and alone,

You make everyone a part

 

Little soldier,

Carry on,

Show us what to do

 

Little soldier

Just be strong

We’re all here for you

 

Every pin prick,

Cut or bruise,

Is just nothing too hard

 

To just ignore it,

Sore and tender,

Another battle scar

 

You fight it,

Everyday is

Another victory

 

Every moment,

You’re alive,

Is inspiration to me

 

At the end

of every day

Someone watched you sleep

 

And in their heads

They thinking, praying

For you and your dreams

 

Little Soldier,

Make a wish,

Your dream just may come true

 

Little soldier,

Just be strong,

We’re so proud of you

 

Little soldier,

Did you know

Every single day

 

I wake up

And thank the stars

That you’re here another day

 

Little soldier just keep fighting I know you can win

Little soldier you’re so brave

Don’t ever give in

 

*This is for all the little soldiers who fight so hard every day of your life. You inspire me, and everyone around you. Keep going strong.*

I’ll post an update this weekend, and another post tomorrow (hopefully) for my Grandma’s birthday.

 

Love and Inspiration,

Kristen

Living, Breathing Memories

“When you look back on times we had
I hope you smile
And know that through the good and through the bad
I was on your side when nobody could hold us down
We claimed the brightest star
And we, we came so far
And no they won't forget”

-Carrie Underwood “Whenever you remember”

Today I want to talk about them:

The Group, as in “Let’s get The Group together and go to the movies.” These people are the people I grew up with- the people that I turned to for help and love and support. These are the people I went from innocent to adult with. From naïve to wise. These people taught me lessons I will never forget: loyalty, compassion, forgiveness, honesty, support and love. This blog is about them

I remember when my friends and I used to hang out every afternoon under the huge tree in the Park. We once even had pizza delivered there! We use to have rock wars, and roll down the hill. How whenever it rained we tried to hide under the tree and when that didn’t work we ran over to the play structure.

I remember when I dyed my hair platinum blonde after my grandpa passed, and they all laughed at me (about the hair). I know that sounds terrible, but in all fairness to them the color was atrocious. I remember when everyone laughed at us for “only dating within our circle” which I now see was really true.

I remember when we all went swimming, all of us girls self conscious in our swim suits, and the boys all smiles and laughter in their trunks.  How we dunked each other, and how even though I was scared out of my mind I jumped off the diving board just because I didn’t want them to think I was weak.

And even though I swore I didn’t remember- I remember when someone grabbed onto someone else’s basketball shorts and de-pantsed them on accident. That was an awkward turtle moment if ever there was one. Shh don’t tell- I doubt the someone else reads this!

I remember the support I got from those friends. The girl I’d known since I was 9, who was my closest friend for 6 years. The person who stuck with me through all my drama queen moments, and really taught me what it meant to be a friend. The person I always turned to.

I remember the curly haired girl I ignored because my other friends thought she wasn’t cool. The girl I decided to be friends with despite them, who became my sister. The one who held me up when I felt like I would fall. Who kept telling me to forget about my fear of heights and reach for the stars. The same girl who I woke up by singing Rascal Flatts and attacking her with stuffed animals. The same girl I wouldn’t ignore for the world.



I remember the first day of Leadership when I got paired with this funny girl with glasses. I remember that when we became friends we were either the very best of friends or we really weren’t friends at all. Sure we fought, but when we weren’t fighting we were always at each others houses. Always together, watching Empire Records or Hackers (my two favorite movies, writing notes to each other, or just listening to music. She was the girl whose family took me in, who taught me everything they could, who made me want to be more.

They are the two girls who mean the most to me. Who I call with exciting news and who I miss terribly when they head back to school. These are my sisters, not by blood, but by everything else. The sisters that matter to me (Including Ashley of course).

I remember the shortest of our little “Family”. The girl we called “Ditzy” for years, and wrote her off as just that. I’ve always felt terrible for that. The girl who changed her hair color as many times as her clothes. Who got apple juice spilled on her (by a certain Strawberry) every time she wore a specific Coke shirt.

I remember the boys who started out like brothers and then became more than that. The two boys I told everything to, that I stayed up for hours talking to. The two boys who stuck by me when I felt my world falling in around me.  The two boys who know everything there is to know about me. The boys who sat through our fantasy triggering romance movies as long as we watched Lords of Dogtown with them. The boys who made me laugh when I wanted to bury myself in a hole. These are the boys who supported me when I was positive I wasn’t going anywhere.

HAHA I remember I smashed this bubble and it got everywhere! Sorry Timmy

Lazy!

(Note: These were also the two boys who got me hooked on Rockstar and Mountain Dew. I’m just saying. )

I remember the day that Josh walked into the pool with his cell phone still in his shorts (Silly). I remember when I told Tim a particularly shocking secret and he nearly broke his phone in half. I remember the days that I realized I loved them (separately). The days that I realized I was willing to take a chance on that love.

You know there are still days when I’m upset that I pick up the phone, dial it, and hang it up again because I know that our lives are so much different now that I don’t think you’d want to hear from me. That’s okay, but I still wish I could talk to you.

I remember these people who have meant so much to me in my life (a few of which I still talk to on a regular basis). I also remember I’ve lost every single one of them at least once in our friendship. When you lose a great friend you mourn their loss no matter what happened. You feel their loss in your bones and you carry it every day.

I miss these people. I miss the silly times. I’m so proud of everyone for going after what they want, but I miss talking to them. I miss being surrounded by the people who know me the best. If I could only have a one or two of them back I know who I’d choose. It would be hard, but there are some people that I still miss every single day. The proud few that wormed their way into my heart so completely that I wish they were still talking to me. I hope you realize how much I miss you.

This is some random thoughts of the night as I remember how my life once was. Here’s my advice: You know you have a true friend if even after months of not talking you still pick up the phone to call them about exciting news.

Kristen

WOW! Another Awesome Day!

Yesterday was a great day because I found out that I got my first job. Well today gets even better: I found out that I have a hopeful second job! Two part time jobs in one week, holy jeez!

I got a phone call today around 2pm from a number that I didn’t recognize. Thinking it was Stephanie from DSW at the Tanasbourne store I picked up, but it was Dusty from the Macy’s (also in Tanasbourne).

She said that she would work around my work schedule from DSW and that I had an open door at Macy’s. Holy Crap! This is amazing!

The only thing that’s not so great is that I have to wear all black for Macy’s, but DSW is “Business casual”. I can wear dark jeans (even slightly distressed) and fashion tops so long as they are on trend. Guess who has an excuse to go shopping now? :D

Now that I have two jobs I can start school soon, pay back my parents for the car they bought me for my birthday, and then my driver’s license, car and health insurance.

Welcome to adult life : )

*I want to say congratulations to J.R. who passed his test for work today. I am so proud of you! :)*

Hope you had a good day,

Kristen

Today is special

So today is just good. I woke up early and not 15 minutes after I wake up my phone rings. It’s the girl from DSW Shoes. I just got my first job! I am so excited! I have orientation on Tuesday, and I can’t wait :)

It’s only part time, but it’s better than nothing. The new store will open next month in Tanasbourne just FYI. So if you want to see me I’ll work there.

This job is the first step to me having a life haha. It’s going to help me get my license, car insurance, and slowly buy my car from my parents.

Look how pretty it is! :) I want to drive it.

Plus the job will help me start school soon, and get started saving. : ) I finally feel like my life can start.

 

Also today I spent forever making a video for Tai Le, and I’m okay with how this one sounds. Post your thoughts in the comments. Don’t worry you can be anonymous if you want.

This is my first music video. Scary!

Now I wanted to post some of the pictures that I’ve been taking since I’ve been home- some were in Portland, some were in the car, some were on the Max so everything’s different.

This is from the roof of my shed. I’m not scared of heights anymore. Yay! :)

There’s a storm ahead

So here’s me today. Don’t know why I took it, but I like it so here you go!

Lots of happy love, and sunshine days,

Kristen

I’m back- Updates, What's Up!, New Feature (?)

Hey loves! Sorry for the absence of blogs (if you even noticed) but I’ve been adjusting to being back home. However, I’m here now and I will commence filling you in on my life.
First off, I posted last time about my Uncle Darren, who’s been ill. Thankfully he’s better and out of the hospital! I am so grateful for every doctor and nurse that helped him through this. They are amazing, and genuinely caring people and he couldn’t have had better caregivers if he tried.
I’m going to post a picture of my awesome Uncle Darren below. He’s been a part of my life since I was four and I would be devastated if anything happened to him.

You really can’t see but I was hardcore pouting

He’s always listened to me.

I think he was helping me with school work or something.

For those who want an update on Josh- I can’t give you one. Sorry! We don’t know that much right now, we don’t know when he’ll be home. As bad as it sucks that he’s not here with me I just keep remembering that he’ll be here soon and we can move on from the past.

Baby- I miss you and I love you. I can’t wait to see you again. Stay strong.
Lately I’ve been knitting a lot. For those of you that didn’t know I knit, well I do. I learned in 7th (I think) in Ms. Podos’ room for a The Witch Of Blackbird Pond  project. I still remember that my first project was a white scarf that was all knotted and mangled. But I still got an A! :) I do believe Amanda was in that class with me…yes?
Anyway, my latest projects have been my “volunteer” work until I can see about volunteering at Bonnie L Hays.
I’m making hats for babies, specifically preemies (or premature babies) to donate to hospitals. I’m also going to see about making animals and booties.
Here are the four that I’ve completed so far:
 



I’ve also been hanging out with my “pups” Moose


He’s a 100-ish lbs Pure bred Chocolate dog who thinks he’s half human/ half Lap Dog. He’s not, but he sure acts like it.
So today I got a video on my Facebook from the lovely Tai Le who sang me “Jar of Hearts” by Christina Perri, and it reminded me that I told him I would record a song for him and post it on his Facebook Wall. So I’m currently awake at midnight listening to music trying to figure out what I song I’m going to do.
However, I will admit that I am petrified to do this video. Why? What I’m about to confess is going to shock a lot of you since you all thought I was so confident…
I don’t think I’m a good singer.
No, seriously, I don’t. I think I’m mediocre at best, and I have no idea how I got as far as I did in High School. I’m so happy that everyone believed that much in me (enough o vote me “Next American Idol” Next to Michael Pham) but I’ve never woke up and thought “I’m a good singer”. And no I’m not being fake, or lying, because I am not a liar.
Anyway, since I’m probably going to do more than one of these videos, I’m wondering if I should start posting them on here at the end of the blog post for that day, but I don’t want to if no one is going to be happy about it. So tell me your thoughts below? :)

All I’ve been doing lately is hanging out with friends (while I can), job searching, and playing guitar. Hopefully this week I can see my Dinosaur Aaron Seipel, because I miss that kid.

Aaron, if you’re reading this (which I doubt) I’m stoked to see you buddy!
I want to start a new segment/ feature to my blog posts. From now on if I have time I’m going to be putting a “Playlist” of what I’ve been listening to the most that week.

Kristen’s Weekly Playlist # 1:
Marry You- Bruno Mars
Landslide- Stevie Nicks
If You Ever Did Believe- Stevie Nicks
Arms Wide Open- Creed
No Rain- Blind Melon
Rhythm of Love- Plain White T’s
Black Horse and a Cherry Tree- KT Tunstall
Rolling in the Deep- Adele
Breakeven- The Script
Breathe (2am)- Anna Nalick
99 times- Kate Voegele
Beautiful Liar- Beyonce ft. Shakira (AMAZING)
If I Were a Boy- Beyonce
Whenever you Remember- Carrie Underwood

Oh! I wanted to say Happy 16th Birthday to Jake. Hope you had a great day.

My next blog will have that video for Tai as well as some pictures of my trips to Portland via my new favorite thing.. The MAX!
Lots of Rain-Sogged Love,
Kristen
P.S. I’ve just figured out that I like long blog posts. Sorry! Haha

Oh What A Week!

 

Hey Everyone.

This past week has been kind of stressful, but luckily everything’s looking up.

As I wrote before I moved back to Oregon last Tuesday and I had a job interview. Unfortunately I didn’t get the job, but they’ll keep me in mind for future positions so that’s awesome. Yes, I am really bummed out that I didn’t get it, but I can understand why they wouldn’t hire an 18 year whose never had a job.

So even though I didn’t get that job I’ve been applying everywhere and hoping to hear back from them soon.

During this past week my Uncle was put into the hospital. At first it didn’t look good, but he’s doing much better now and I am so grateful for that. Please keep him in your thoughts, and just send good vibes his way.

I’ve been taking the MAX a lot lately and even though the walk to get there is crazy I really love taking it (minus the crazy people) so I wanted to give you some pictures of my travels…

This is JR at the hospital

Look at the fog

Look at the fishies!

This is my favorite

I don’t know why but I love this picture

PGE Park

On the way home from Portland

 

Also this week I’ve dusted off my guitar (well technically it’s Josh’s I’ve just procured it for a while) and have been playing that pretty much non-stop. I’ve been really obsessed with the song No Rain by Blind Melon. It’s truly an awesome song.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the upcoming Prom season, and I really want to help out any girls that I can so if anyone wants to have their makeup done/ knows someone who does just give me a call or send me a message. I would love to help out whoever I can

It doesn’t have to be for Prom even, but I would love to do people’s makeup for anything. Practice makes perfect, and I want to do the very best that I can. So if you want me to let me know!

Anyways, so I’m back in Oregon and I’m really excited to start life here even though I miss my family.

I’ll do a Vlog sometime within the next few days.

Keep checking back for more updates.

LOL (aka Lots of Love),

Kristen

Life is about to Change Pt. Deux

I am so sorry that this is so long!
3.1.2011

Hey Blog Fans Welcome Back!

Today is the final half of my nerve wracking “Life is About to Change” post. I know you’ve all been curious to know what’s going on , so here we go…. I moved back to Oregon today. For those I didn't see before I left or I didn't get to tell before I left I am so sorry. I didn't do it to hurt anyone's feelings. I love all of you and I hope you aren't mad.

Now before people ask there were a lot of factors contributing to my cross country move, and just fyi Josh and I are great :). One of the big reasons that I moved back is that I never really started my life in MD, it was like a really long vacation. I’m not ready to be a country girl anymore, I hate driving, and I want to be able to walk everywhere that I need to walk!

So, that’s my big news! I spent 8 hours on a plane today (8:35am – 1:35pm = 5 hours + 2 hour time change = 8 hours). Below are just some fun thoughts/ tidbits/ pictures I had/ took while on the planes:

To the Airport:

Dad was super sick. Sorry Dad!

At the Airport:

This is awesome! Body Shop Vending Machine!

This plane was so close!

This was after the plane flew so close

Angry Birds is awesome to play but it’s even better when you listen to awesome music while you’re playing…

Kristen’s Airplane Playlist (The Usual Suspects):

All we ever do is say goodbye- John Mayer

Car crash- Matt Nathanson

About a Girl- Nirvana

Heart Shaped Box- Nirvana

Kristy, are you doing okay?- The Offspring

Wait for me- Theory of A Deadman

Tennessee- The Wreckers

Half of my Heart- John Mayer

Black Hole Sun- Soundgarden

By the Way- Theory of a Deadman

Echo-Incubus

Stellar- Incubus

See you- Foo Fighters

Not strong enough- Apocalyptica

Broken pieces- Apocalyptica

Whiskey lullaby- Brad Paisley ft Alison Krauss

Jar of hearts- Christina Perri

We are broken- Paramore

Let the flames begin- Paramore

When it rains- Paramore

Fixed at zero- VersaEmerge

Lost Tree- VersaEmerge (LOVE THIS!)

Leave the pieces- The Wreckers

Stand Still, look pretty-The Wreckers

Lay me Down- The Wreckers

I am only one- We are the Fallen

Sleep well, my angel- We are the fallen

Skin- Alexz Johnson

I always feel like the land below the land looks like Tetris, and it always makes me want to play Tetris when I get home… Or Jenga! When was the last time I played Jenga? Forever ago, wanna know why? Because I’m a sore loser at Jenga… Stupid blocks.

Why are airplanes always so bloody cold?! I get that we’re high up and all that but damn dude get a space heater!

*I bet half of you who read that did so in a british accent after the word “bloody” haha!*

On a random note I wanted to chat really quickly about the blog’s YouTube channel. First off I’ve decided that since the blog is called LiveOutspoken I would call the YouTube: LiveOutspokenTV

I’ve also decided that I would try to post at least one “Vlog” each week, which means instead of me typing up a blog I’m going to sit and chat with the camera, take you on errands with me, and talk to the camera in awkward and plain weird places. Haha, I’m going to feel like a nerd for a little bit, but that’s okay, it’ll entertain all of us!

Coming Up On LiveOutspoken:
Vlog: Tour of Hillsboro (for MD Family), Trip Down Memory Lane (once my scanner is hooked up), Videos of Moose the “puppy”, Room Tour? (Doubt it, but maybe… “and this is my sock drawer, as you can see they’re all alphabetized by brand and type of sock, plus color coordinated for each day of the week!” I think not).

I really love PopTarts… they are my favorite obsession, and I think they should be everyone’s obsessions, I’m just sayin’.

Anyways, I’ve already been home, got cleaned up and went and had my first job interview. I interviewed for an On Call Beauty Advisor position at the Tanasbourne Macy’s and I was anxious all day. I was scared I would mess up horribly or I’d be late because of my flight. I was just praying that I made it back in time, my makeup looked okay, I functioned on little to no sleep, I didn’t say like all the time, and I could sell them a pen if I needed to…

The reason made the pen comment: When I was first asked to interview I immediately searched for any tips or hints about what the interview process would hold, and a ton of people said that they had to prove their selling capabilities and show their personalities by selling their interviewer/ manager a pen.

Anyways, my interview went amazing and I have a really great feeling about it. The woman who interviewed me was named Dusty and she was absolutely amazing! She was really sweet and down to earth and I was really comfortable talking to her. I don’t find out if I got the job until tomorrow but I’m hoping I do.

Like I was saying I’ve already done everything I could do today, and now I’m laying around, exhausted, trying to get myself settled again. I can’t wait to go out tomorrow and just relax and walk around my home town : ) I’ve missed walking everywhere, and hopefully within a week or so my calves will be back to their normal muscley awesomeness.

I wanted to say Sorry and thank you to Josh who didn’t get to hear from me much today and when he did I don’t think I was making a ton of sense (being serious sleep deprived and all), so thanks honey, you’re awesome. Hang in there!

And on that note I bid you adieu.

Goodnight loyal readers, I hope that you all sleep well,

Kristen

P.S. As you can tell it’s Wednesday now, but I fell asleep before I could post this. Sorry!