From Body Hate to Body Love

One of the problems with growing up overweight is that it’s very common to come down with serious body image issues. Always thinking you’re fat, thinking you eat too much, worrying what people think and being so very self conscious.

While I grew up I was constantly thinking people were making fun of me because of my weight. Two girls would look near me and laugh and I just immediately thought they were laughing at me. It turned me into a very introspective person. When I was a kid I was shy, as a teenager in high school I was a bitch. I figured if I was mean enough to make people hate me then I wouldn’t care what they thought.

Not true.

But I digress, fast forward through high school and everything that went on during it, through the few years after it where I was happily in a relationship to just over six months ago when I realized I didn’t want to be the person I was turning into. I felt like my life was planned out, but for the wrong person so I took control and I changed it.

I realized that I needed to be selfish and go after what I wanted and do what I needed to do, not matter what. I ended a relationship of nearly two years, I threw myself into work and I promised myself that I was going to live the life I wanted from then on. I started to try new things, be the person I had always wanted to be but I still felt horrible about myself.

The inspiration to change came from watching my best friend change her life. I’m not going to go into much detail right now except to say that she is an exceptional human being who (paired with Heather) completes me. She has pushed herself body, mind and soul and has come out on top, looking and feeling fabulous.

So I started to work out and eat right. It’s interesting to see the progress from 6 months ago to right now. I probably couldn’t do one sit up back then and just yesterday I did 70 in a row, with weights. I made a personal fit test for myself in September and it took me 28 minutes to do all four rounds the first time. Less than two weeks later it took me less than 15 minutes. My clothes are fitting looser, my body is getting more toned, more defined and every day I love it more and more.

Weird what a little exercise can do right?

Working out has helped me appreciate my body and its limits. Every crunch, push up and stretch that I’ve done has made me love it even more. Every piece of fruit or celery stick that passes my lips has made me realize what my body needs to function, and what foods it doesn’t. It’s pushing myself, and working hard that’s forced me to move past my self consciousness and realize that I’m strong and I’m beautiful and it’s time I believed it.

So I’m going to prove how much I love my body. I’m going to post progress pictures. But I’m not doing this to prove it to you all because, much as I adore you, this isn’t about you. I’m going to prove it to myself.

Without further ado…

 

Starting at the top right and going clockwise the pairs of photos are from June 21, 2011- September 20, 2012- October 3, 2012- and today October 21, 2012.

Looking at these pictures, I’ll be honest I cringed. Not because I’m ashamed of my body as it is, but because I’m ashamed that I treated it like that.

 

 

To all of you who read my blog, love yourself. Love your body, but take it for what it is: a machine. Keep it healthy and you’ll have a lot longer in it, end of story.